Enter+The+Platypus


 * Enter: The Platypus**
 * By Emma Shannon**

//(Open scene with kids all sitting down in a classroom like setting.)//


 * God:** All right, before you go, I have an assignment for you tonight, my angels. I want you to create a new animal for plant Earth. //(Muttering)// I don't have time to do it all, you know.


 * Class:** All right Mr. God.

//(Scene changes to a college game/common room. A pair of boys are on the couch with red cups on a table next to them and a pair of girls are at a table with coffee. Spotlight on the guys.)//


 * Michael:** Dude what should we create for our final project?


 * Gabriel:** //(Taking a sip from one cup)// I don’t know, man. Just remember it’s going to end up on Earth.


 * Michael:** Yeah… //(They sit in silence for a minute, fidgeting around and squirming on the couch in “thinking positions.”)// This is haaaaard.


 * Gabriel:** I know but we put it off and it’s due in //(He checks his watch)// like, five hours.


 * Michael:** It’s three in the morning? //(Michael nods.)// Uggghhhh I want to go to bed.


 * Gabriel:**So do I so lets get this thing done.


 * Michael:** //(He sighs)// Fine.

//(They start to do more “thinking positions” while drinking from their cups. Lights up on the girls.)//


 * Cass:** //(Yawns)// All right so how much do we have done?


 * Muriel:** //(Yawns also.)// Um, it's a small mammal with fur that comes in a lot of neutral-ish colors like gray, white, black, tan, stuff like that.


 * Cass:** All right, that's a pretty good start. I bet we're farther along than them. //(She gestures to Michael and Gabriel.)//

//(Lights come up during Michael's line.)//


 * Michael:** I’VE GOT IT!


 * Gabriel:** What’s your idea?


 * Michael:** Okay so we make it a mammal, right? Except it lays eggs!


 * Gabriel:** Dude.


 * Michael:** What? You don’t like it?


 * Gabriel:** Dude. That’s freaking GENIUS. //(They hi-five.)//

//(Lights back up on the girls. They both take sips of coffee.)//


 * Muriel:** Ok, so we have that much. What now?


 * Cass:** Well we want it cute, right?


 * Muriel:** Of course.


 * Cass:** Well lets give it a little pink nose that twitches.


 * Muriel:** That's not cute, that's adorable!

//(Lights back on the boys.)//


 * Gabriel:** Bro, I had another idea.


 * Michael:** Lay it on me, Gabe!


 * Gabriel:** Let’s give it a beaver tail.


 * Michael:** And a duckbill!


 * Gabriel:** Yes!! //(He starts to furiously scribble things down on his notebook.)//

//(Back to the girls.)//


 * Cass:** So it's going to eat carrots and lettuce, right?


 * Muriel:** Yeah, and have adorable buck teeth and a busy tail.


 * Cass:** We're so getting an A.

//(Lights on Michael and Gabriel.)//


 * Gabriel:** What if it’s poisonous?


 * Michael:** Why not?


 * Gabriel:** Okay, we need one more thing.


 * Michael:** Hm… //(Thinking positions continue. Guy one takes a big swig from his cup and puts it down. His eyes widened. He whispers the next line.)// I’ve got it.


 * Gabriel:** Huh?


 * Michael:** Let’s make it sweat milk.


 * Gabriel:** SWEET. What should we call it?


 * Michael:** Uh… how about… a platypus!


 * Gabriel:** Excellent! This is wicked!


 * Michael:** And just to piss people off we'll make the plural platypuses and not platypi!


 * Gabriel:** Bro you're a genius!


 * Michael:** Bro!


 * Gabriel:** Bro!

//(The “Bro!”s continue with them doing weird guy stuff. Lights on the girls. The "bros" are quieter so you can hear Cass and Muriel.)//


 * Muriel:** Those guys are so annoying.


 * Cass:** Tell me about it. I'm surprised they even tried to finish the project.


 * Muriel:** Anyways, all we need now is a name for it. I was thinking rabbit?


 * Cass:** More adorable.


 * Muriel:** Ok, bunny rabbit?


 * Cass:** Perfect.

//(Back to classroom setting. Cass, Muriel, Michael, and Gabe are at the front of the class presenting their creations.)//


 * Cass:** //(She hands him the paper with their design.)// We think it will be a wonderful and cuddly addition to Earth.


 * God:** //(Sighs.)// It's nice girls, but not very original. The highest I can give you is a B. //(Cass and Muriel are astounded.)//


 * Cass:** //(Whispering to Muriel.)// If we got a B, there's no way those dimwits even passed.


 * Gabriel:** Here's our assignment, Mr. God! //(He hands God the paper. God looks it over, wide-eyed.)//


 * God:** This is so absurd and different! //(Cass smirks.)// I love it! A-pluses for you both.

//(Cass and Muriel are shocked and appalled. The boys hi-five.)//


 * Michael and Gabriel:** SWEET!

//~fin~//