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Decided to start writing my own novel in verse about my coach.. let's see how it works out! (:

I bite my lip as I walk down the hall. I think about how much I've changed.
 * __For Better or Worse__ **

I can tell just how disappointed you are in me. I don't bother to hold back the tears

anymore.

Do you remember that car ride in Disneyland? I assumed that you would want to ride with Emily and I felt so special when you rode with me instead.
 * __Bad Driving and Sentimentality__ **

We talked about everything.

Well, I talked while you listened and we laughed about how bad I was at driving.

Yeah, I know you remember. But that memory is not nearly as significant to you as it is to me.

__ **Mother Bear** __ I was nine when you had that fight with Alice, and I couldn't comprehend that you could've yelled like that. I couldn't shake the sound of your voice surrounding me echoing off the walls of an empty rink.

The next day when I brought up the incident you explained it the best way you could to a third grader. "Alexia, I'm like a mother bear.  My students  are my cubs.  And I will protect them from __ anything __ -  including their own parents.  Do you understand?"

I nodded clinging to those words with my life.

__ **Tribulation** __

When I was younger, about ten or so, the thought t-h-a-t y-o-u w-e-r-e g-o-i-n-g t-o d-i-e o-n-e d-a-y was enough to send me bawling for h-o-u-r-s o-n e-n-d. Now that I-'-m o-l-d-e-r, I d-o-n-'-t r-e-a-c-t t-h-a-t w-a-y anymore. B u t ...................................... the feelings of pain and fear ...................................... towards the e m p t i n e s s ..................................... I know I will feel when you a- ..................................... re gone are still very much ........................................ here. And it s e n d s m e .......................................... s p i r a l ing every time I think ...................................... about it. To be completely .......................................... h o n e s t , t h i n k i n g ............................................ about a n y life without you ........................................ scares t h e absolute crap ........................................... o u t of me. The loss of you ...................................... would mean the l-o-s-s of - s-o-m-e-o-n-e - I live for. I-t w-o-u-l-d b-e the loss of someone I consider to be a best friend. It would be the l--o--s--s - o--f - a - p--a--r--t - o-f - m-e. It would be the loss of any shred of sanity I have left.

__ **Sometimes** __ when things are rough all I can think is "I wish I were with  Danelle  right now." But then the sensible part of me kicks in  and reminds me that ever though you mean the world and more to me and even though I would do  anything for you you wouldn't care to try to comfort me.

__ **Green-Eyed Monster** __ I've never felt so much envy towards one person in my whole life. Emily is such a sweet girl and she deserves every ounce of affection she gets. But when you hug her, I cringe. And when you kiss her forehead tender gentle caring // loving // I feel my heart shatter and something inside of me

..................................................................................... ** dies. **

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